I noticed that all the prayers I used to offer to God, and all the prayers I now offer to Joe Pesci, are being answered at about the same fifty percent rate. Half the time I get what I want, half the time I don't.. Same as the four-leaf clover and the horseshoe..same as the voodoo lady who tells you your fortune by squeezing the goat's testicles. It's all the same..so just pick your superstition, sit back, make a wish, and enjoy yourself.. . George Carlin
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I noticed that all the prayers I used to offer to God, and all the prayers I now offer to Joe Pesci, are being answered at about the same fifty percent rate. Half the time I get what I want, half the time I don't...Same as the four-leaf clover and the horseshoe...same as the voodoo lady who tells you your fortune by squeezing the goat's testicles. It's all the same...so just pick your superstition, sit back, make a wish, and enjoy yourself...

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More Quotes By George Carlin
  1. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you...
  2. It's important in life if you don't give a shit. It can help you a lot.
  3. Once you leave out all the bullshit they teach you in school, life gets really simple.
  4. May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
  5. We're so self-important. So arrogant. Everybody's going to save something now. Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save the snails. <span style="margin:15px; display:block"></span>And the supreme arrogance? Save the planet! Are these people kidding? Save the planet? We don't even know how to...
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